Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
