at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
