Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
