I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
where are my eyebrows?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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