i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
