Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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