I murdered the dance floor call the cops
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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