I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
