People with herpes should wear stickers.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize