Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
