loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
