You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't turn off my feet"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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