who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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