i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
