I think I am morally bankrupt
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
