Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I've blown a few things in my day
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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