I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
