you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I still have a little drunk in my system
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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