wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
