talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
