Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
