I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
