Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
