You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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