At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
