Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
