Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
