I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize