um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
