i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
