She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
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Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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