My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
