Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
