i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
