The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
