I wish you could order shots online.
you win again, gameday.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
