I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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