I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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