When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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