Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
