1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
