She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
