okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
