The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have feelings that need drinking.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
