he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My dick has a subreddit
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
