Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize