i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
