Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
