Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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