Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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