Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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