wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
