i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
