Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
