Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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