a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize