There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
