i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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