I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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