I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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