She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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