I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
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Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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