what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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