i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
