i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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