I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
