His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
